June Blogchain: Description

This month’s blogchain is about Description. Write a location description, and make us feel as if we are there. No dialogue, no introductory comments, just a location. We’re the tourists, you’re the guide. The people participating are listed below. I’ll keep updating the list until everyone has posted.

orion_mk3 – http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to this month’s post)
juniper – http://www.katjuniper.com/ (link to this month’s post)
LadyMage – http://www.katherinegilraine.com/ (link to this month’s post)
dolores haze – http://dianedooley.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post)
jkellerford – http://jennykellerford.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Ralph Pines – http://ralfast.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post)
AuburnAssassin – http://clairegillian.com/ (link to this month’s post)
pezie – http://www.erinbrambilla.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Inkstrokes – http://drlong67.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post)
WildScribe – http://DionneObesoBlog.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Guardian – http://daewrites.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Lyra Jean – http://lyratorres.wordpress.com/ <—- ME!
egoodlett – http://wordlarceny.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
cwachob – http://www.corriewachob.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Aheïla – http://thewriteaholicblog.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post)
faerydancer – http://digitalinkwell.wordpress.com (link to this month’s post)
TheMindKiller – http://www.jabberwocky.ws/ (link to this month’s post)
Irissel – http://irissel.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
xcomplex – http://www.arielemerald.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Robbi Sommers Bryant – http://www.robbibryant.blogspot.com (link to this month’s post)

Here is my entry:

“Don’t do anything stupid like take your helmet off. It will only end the VR program and it’s a bitch to start back up again.” Qeb heard the real estate agent through his helmet mike.

It was a very good program. It even had the gravity correct. He bounced lightly on in heated boots. Chryse Planitia, the plains of Gold, here on Mars. It didn’t look very golden. It was rather a dull rust red with streaks of orange and tan but it was very flat and he wondered where the Viking I lander would be out here if any of it was still around that is. He looked across the flat terrain and saw nothing.

“We don’t have updated maps yet but there are a few dome towns being built inside a few of the craters here in Chryse.” He heard the real estate agent again. “But the museum won’t be located in any of those. Turn around.”

Qeb turned around and it took his breath away. They were just far enough away from the Southern Highlands and an outflow channel to not crane the neck and still see the top. The real estate agent came up beside and tapped his arm. He barely felt it through the thick insulation against negative 112 degrees Fahrenheit temprature. She pointed at a curve in the outflow channel.

“The Martian Museum will take up part of the cliff facing Chryse and will go around the bend and face into the outflow channel itself. There will be a bridge crossing the outflow channel and the museum will continue down the side of the outflow channel onto the floor of the canyon. There are other sites to see if you are interested, of course.”

“Perhaps, I will be interested after seeing the actual plans of the museum. What will it be like inside?”

“The interior will be pressurized and temperature controlled. The bridge, to save on building costs, will be open air. There are air locks, one for each entrance, and numerous safe rooms in case of depressurization. That can still happen from time to time but not a big worry especially where it will be built. Shall we head back now and look over the building plans?”

“Yes, that will be great. Let’s do that.”

——————————————————————

If you enjoyed reading the other participants’ blogs in the chain and want to return to them but forgot to bookmark. All them will be listed in my Writer’s Blogs links on the right hand side near the bottom.

24 thoughts on “June Blogchain: Description

  1. ralfast says:

    Interesting. No terraforming yet. I’ve always been intrigued by Mars but I never could write a story on the planet, never found enough info to start and my ideas where too poorly research. I can see that’s not the case here. Well done.

    • Lyra says:

      Yes, that is right. If you ever read the Mars trilogy by Kim Stanley Robinson I’m in the Ann Clayborne camp. Don’t terraform Mars. I’ve been thinking about changing the people to fit Mars rather than changing Mars to fit the people.

  2. alexp01 says:

    Yay Mars! A realtor is always a great excuse to cram in some description. I see a rogue comma in the third paragraph from the bottom, but otherwise pretty good.

    • Lyra says:

      Is it this sentence?
      There are other sites to see if you are interested, of course.”

      Cause now that I look at it the comma does seem a bit weird.

      I’m glad you like it. Description has always been a real challenge for me. So much so I end up with the talking head syndrome. In that you have no idea where they are at.

  3. Dale Long says:

    Another unique take on the exercise. A virtual landscape.

    I find when descibing something I haven’t seen, I use less specifics. That way I don’t get tripped up being wrong or worse yet too fantastically unelievable.

    You pull it off excellently. Just enough fact to make it believable. I was there.

    • Lyra says:

      Thanks Dale! I was afraid my description might have been a little short.

      I’m using, “A Traveler’s Guide to Mars: The Mysterious Landscapes of the Red Planet” by William K. Hartmann. It’s a really good book. He’s a planetary scientist and has been studying Mars since before we put people on the Moon so he knows his stuff.

  4. [...] (link to this month’s post) Lyra Jean – http://lyratorres.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post) egoodlett – http://wordlarceny.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post) cwachob – [...]

  5. Ellen says:

    Cool setting! :) And I love the “real estate agent” on mars. such a normal, every-day job, contrasted with the martian landscape, was perfect ;)

  6. Diane Dooley says:

    Oh, I enjoyed this! I haven’t visited Mars since Bradbury’s Martian Chronicles. It’s been too long!

  7. [...] to this month’s post) Lyra Jean - http://lyratorres.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post) egoodlett - http://wordlarceny.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post) cwachob [...]

  8. Very cool setting. And a Martian Museum is very clever.

  9. [...] to this month’s post) Lyra Jean - http://lyratorres.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post) egoodlett - http://wordlarceny.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post) cwachob [...]

  10. So just to keep me sane, the VR simulates ALL of Mars and they’re not really there but just wearing the suits and boots to facilitate the experience, right?

    I love the mundane, a real estate agent, describing the anything-but-mundane in a mundane manner (“depressurization can happen from time to time”). Love sci-fi settings done like this. Well done.

    • Lyra says:

      Yes, it’s a VR setting. I actually wrote a little more and the program they are using was bought by the real estate agent from the, now in their world, defunct NASA. It was originally created by NASA as a training exercise for their planned manned mission to Mars. But because of lack of funding was cancelled along with the whole NASA program. It has since been picked up by private entities.

      They aren’t wearing suits they are in a deprivation chamber or a similar setup like the one used in the movie Avatar.

  11. I also love how normal things like a real estate agent and a museum are there to make it seem like buying property or living on Mars would be totally normal for any of us right now. And wouldn’t virtual reality real estate tours come in handy now for people moving across the country or the world? Nicely done.

    • Lyra says:

      Yeah, I remember reading about the 1920′s land boom in Florida. Everybody was buying swampland because they were promised by developers that it would be drained and their dream home would be built on it. They were buying up land site unseen.

      I think if they actually saw what they were buying they wouldn’t have bought it. I figured the same would happen for off-world property. This real estate agent just happens to be very good.

  12. [...] WildScribe (link to this month’s post) Guardian (link to this month’s post) Lyra Jean (link to this month’s post) egoodlett (link to this month’s post) cwachob (link to this month’s post) Aheila (link [...]

  13. J.d. Levite says:

    As an avid sci-fi fan, Mars has always been one of my favorite places to go. This one actually reminded me of a video game, Red Faction, which deals with a mostly non-terraformed Mars.

    Anyway I really liked this because there’s just enough fact and description to put you on the scene but it’s not so grand, as a description of Mars can get, that it pulls the reader away from what you’re specifically pointing them toward.

    • Lyra says:

      I’ve heard of that video game. There was also another video game that I can’t remember at the moment but they did turn it into a movie. In the video game part of it takes place on Mars where scientists accidentally opened a portal to hell.

      I’m glad you liked the description. I’m always afraid I’m either putting in too much or not enough. But isn’t everyone?

  14. Jenny says:

    Wow! I’ve always wanted to visit Mars. This was an excellent description without going over the top. Your real estate agent is very good at selling stuff most of us wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. Well done.

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